I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
