He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
