Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
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Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
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I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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