Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
