I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I want to fling myself into the sun
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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