zippers are such a cool invention
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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