Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Randomize
