Screwed.edu
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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