: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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