the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
