I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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