it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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