My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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