I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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