It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
