smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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