4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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