just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
