After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
