5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
