I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
