Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
