Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
