Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
