she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
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Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
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I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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