Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
