Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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