You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
