I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
wow bdsm is so cute
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