Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
