My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
my liver is dry heaving
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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