YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
