id be glad to
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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