I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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