eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
