lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
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