Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Four minutes until I can fart!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i came on her dog
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
When are your genitals available?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize