he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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