dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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