i just wanna soil my oats bro
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
