hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
