How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
