Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
