did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
