pedialite and red bull = repair kit
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
