Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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