Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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