She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
