i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think I am morally bankrupt
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
