We're facebook friends in real life
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
