Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
