I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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