Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
