It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
