I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
