I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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