idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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