Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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