we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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